On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
