At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
