He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
