I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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