I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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