I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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