hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
