Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
