this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
