My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
