she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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