Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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