I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
