You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
