This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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