Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
