We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
