He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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