Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
