"it" just moved
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
