I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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