what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
