I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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