You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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