I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
