You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
