Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
