He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
