the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My vagina just clenched in fear
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Congratulations! We have a period
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
