Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
