is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
