I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
