An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
