Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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