then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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