this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
