i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
