Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize