He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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