You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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