Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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