I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's blow job season.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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