shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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