sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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