I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you didnt know i had herpes?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize