You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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