Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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