dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
