You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
