Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position

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(816): View more from Missouri

It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea

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(407): View more from Florida

Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.

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(607): View more from New York

Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

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(253): View more from Washington

Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.

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(330): View more from Ohio

So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.

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(407): View more from Florida

Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.

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